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blueblotts asked: Dol you know are there any John Darnielle fanfictions?

There are many, but unlike much other fanfic, they are almost entirely sexless. The governing trope of John Darnielle fanfic is called “slay or pose?” and involves the protagonist going on a quest to find me to ask me a question. The question is usually about a band, but sometimes it’s about an author, or a movie, or, occasionally, a type of food. There’ll be all sorts of adventures and setbacks, some of these run into the hundreds of pages, but eventually they’ll find me either in a cave somewhere or hiding underneath some empty cardboard boxes behind a grocery store, and they’ll say, for example: “JD! Long have I sought thee! ___________, slay or pose?” and then I’ll answer, like if they say “Merce Rodoreda” then obviously I say “slay!” but if they say “dipping french fries into soft-serve” then I will have to say “pose!” but anyway that’s the end whichever way it falls out from there. On occasion the protagonist will, prior to finding my hidden cave, get romantically involved with somebody, hence the “almost entirely” qualifier above. On those occasions the amatory side-quest is almost unspeakably explicit. 

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fuckyeahbritisholdschoolgaming:

Warlock 7, December 1985/January 1986. John Blanche, 1985.
Apparently starring Colin Baker as one of the Hobbits and David Coverdale as Legolas.

let me tell some of you young cats something: one of my life regrets is that I wasn’t even more of a geek when I was, like, 12 and 13. should have read twice as many comics. should have stuck with D & D instead of quitting immediately upon finding out you couldn’t really “just take your chances” against monsters you weren’t equipped to fight. geek hard my friends. geek hard. 

fuckyeahbritisholdschoolgaming:

Warlock 7, December 1985/January 1986. John Blanche, 1985.

Apparently starring Colin Baker as one of the Hobbits and David Coverdale as Legolas.

let me tell some of you young cats something: one of my life regrets is that I wasn’t even more of a geek when I was, like, 12 and 13. should have read twice as many comics. should have stuck with D & D instead of quitting immediately upon finding out you couldn’t really “just take your chances” against monsters you weren’t equipped to fight. geek hard my friends. geek hard

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dayan:

(unsurprisingly) this record is completely incredible

I have waited a very very long time for this album and it so completely delivers the goods

(via lalitree)

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maura:

‘No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)’ by Donna Summer & Barbra Streisand is my new jam.

this is not my new jam, but it is indeed my jam

maura:

‘No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)’ by Donna Summer & Barbra Streisand is my new jam.

this is not my new jam, but it is indeed my jam

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"Your Justice Department is continuing to put people in jail, for sale, and use, on occasion, of marijuana. That’s something the American public has finally caught up with. It was a cultural lag. And it’s been an injustice for 40 years in this country to take people’s liberty for something that was similar to alcohol."

Congressman Steve Cohen tears into Attorney General Eric Holder over marijuana. (via think-progress)

Back off DoJ

(via inscienceandcatgames)

I’m not, like, an activist on this question, but hasn’t it sort of got to the point where…like…seriously? I can go down to the liquor store right now and buy enough booze with which to actually destroy myself in one evening. If they sold weed, it would be actually impossible for me to do equivalent damage to myself with what I’d buy there. These are both hypotheticals: I don’t want to drown myself with booze, and as an at-home dad to a toddler I won’t be spending any long days with a vaporizer and the TV any time soon. But the point stands: alcohol is a much harder drug than marijuana. Much. If I’m not super-engaged with the question it’s just because…like…to whom exactly is this not as plain as the nose on your face? Besides which, and much more importantly, there are people with terminal diseases who report that use of marijuana improves their lives. Their anecdotal evidence is the only metric I really need on that question. When “anecdotal evidence” is a sick person telling you “I need this, it would help me,” then it’s actually good evidence, in my opinion.

(via trudymade)

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To the left of Nick Cave’s left foot, at the lip of the stage, looking up in reverent, fevered wonder, right cheekbone partially obscured by a power supply: it’s John Darnielle, 16 years old, loving his life for at least the next 35 minutes and probably until at least 2 a.m.

To the left of Nick Cave’s left foot, at the lip of the stage, looking up in reverent, fevered wonder, right cheekbone partially obscured by a power supply: it’s John Darnielle, 16 years old, loving his life for at least the next 35 minutes and probably until at least 2 a.m.

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monsterman:


Black Cat Mystery (No.33, 1952)Cover Art by Rudy Palais and Bob Powell


no fewer than four perfect band names on one comic cover

monsterman:

Black Cat Mystery (No.33, 1952)
Cover Art by
Rudy Palais and Bob Powell

no fewer than four perfect band names on one comic cover

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NOTES ON IMAGINARY EXTANT, LOST, DELETED, AND UNRECORDED TRACKS WRITTEN, PERFORMED, RECORDED FOR OR DURING THE PERIOD OF TIME IN THE LIFE OF JOHN DARNIELLE THAT WOULD PRODUCE “ALL HAIL WEST TEXAS” NOT INCLUDED IN THIS COLLECTION BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL IMAGINARY

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 1. A Warrior of Jarella (3:16)

John Darnielle (“Dar-NYEEELehhhh”)* was born in Bloomington, Indiana (“Bloomington: The Other Bloomington”). This son of the Midwest moved around much as a child before settling in California (“The Golden State,” “Fucking California”). This record is thematically “into” movement and Texas (“The Lone Star State”). West Texas. Not West, Texas, which is a real place, but western Texas, maybe representative of a certain state of mind? It’s vast and expansive and maybe better than thisAfter Jarella died, Hulk went completely shithouse for a whole issue. Recorded live to Panasonic RX-FT 500.

                                            *not actually how it’s pronounced —ed.

2. Ron Santo Will Rise Again and Have Revenge, Bloody Revenge, on Cooperstown (1:14)

Some of the places in Texas that have appeared in Mountain Goats songs include Brownsville, Denton, Toyahvale, Austin, Houston, and, of course, Lubbock. Dallas, too, right in the title of this album’s closing track. This is a band that is heavily into restless searching. Ron Santo, Randy Hundley, Glenn Beckert, Don Kessinger, and Ernie Banks — Chicago Cubs all — played together on the NL All Star Team in 1969. Five Cubs. Can you imagine? Performed live in parking lot of Ziggy’s, Winston-Salem, NC and recorded live to HI-8 camcorder. 

3.  Mountain Ghosts (4:04)

Darnielle, about whose upbringing has been written about extensively by others as well as by Darnielle himself, started releasing work as “the Mountain Goats” in 1991 (“The Year Punk Broke”) while attending Pitzer College (“Provida Futuri”). Across the next three years five more boombox tapes like TEXAS would follow. 1994 saw the first Mountain Goats “studio”** recording, ZOPILOTE MACHINE.  In 2010 a mountain goat gored a hiker to death in Olympic National Park outside of Seattle. The collective noun of “mountain goats” is ‘trip’. A trip of mountain goats. Sung without accompaniment by Darnielle while driving to grocery store, Ames, Iowa.

                **loosely defined here as “any room with a guitar in it” —ed.

 4. What If We Called It “Bitcoin” (3:00) (approx.)

This track, weirdly prescient and specific, came from Darnielle’s ill-advised “krautfolk” phase. Darnielle worked in psychiatric hospitals as a nurse. His time in the employ of those hospitals would influence not only Darnielle’s lyrics but also his 2008 novella MASTER OF REALITY. Darnielle is pretty heavily into metal. In 2010 Hate Eternal/Morbid Angel guitarist Eric Rutan would record four Mountain Goats songs, so, you know: thatheavily. Mountain goats are herbivores; so is Darnielle.  Performed in men’s room of Burt’s Tiki Lounge, Salt Lake City, UT and later on-stage.

 5. Going to Jack Parsons’ Lab (2:48)

The volume of songs released between 1991 and 2001, on cassettes, LPs, EPs, 7” singles, and various other formats, number more than 200 across 20-some releases that, to the best of my ability to ascertain such things, have seen the light of day. Lots of Mountain Goats songs are about going places, not just in Texas. Kansas, East Rutherford, Lebanon, Hungary, Palestine… somebody made a Google Map of ‘em all. Seriously, Google it.  What happens if you Google “Google”? Time to find out. Performed as a prank to some guy’s voicemail, New Year’s Eve party, 2001.

 6. A Debt to Asclepius (2:03)

Sometimes there were songs about the doomed “Alpha” couple. These songs sometimes had the word “Alpha” in the title. There are no songs with the word “Alpha” on ALL HAIL WEST TEXAS. In 2002 the Mountain Goats released two hang-‘em-in-the-rafters great, all-time, goddamn masterpieces: TALLAHASSEE and ALL HAIL WEST TEXAS. TALLAHASSEE would be a studio effort, his first with longtime collaborator Peter Hughes, amongst others, and would be, more or less, an album about the obliteration of the Alpha couple. Recorded onto wax cylinders “liberated” from the Edison Museum, on the road from West Orange, NJ.

 7. Song for Old Dummy Hoy (2:51)

ALL HAIL WEST TEXAS is the apotheosis of Darnielle’s boombox tapes in a lot of ways; the quality of the songs themselves musically and lyrically are stellar and the entire thing is framed by Texas geography as thematic device and the RX-FT 500 is in fine, droning, form and tone throughout. So two albums in the same years both, more or less, concept albums. TEXAS sees many Mountain Goat lyrical leitmotifs drawn into crystal focus: survivors, the doomed, the aforementioned restless travelers, houses, the beaten down, the lovers searching for geographic cures, Satan. You are going to meet Cyrus and Jeff on this record. Oh! Oh. Oh you have no idea. Omitted for two reasons, both that it was the second baseball-themed track and Darnielle’s well-documented fallout with the Society for American Baseball Research. Recorded at Paisley Park, Minneapolis, MN, 6/7/02.

 8. Electric Eliminators Making Soho Streets Run Red  (2:59)

Subsequent Mountain Goat releases include but are not limited to WE SHALL ALL BE HEALED, THE SUNSET TREE, BLACK PEAR TREE (with Kaki King), GET LONELY, SATANIC MESSIAH, TRANSCENDENTAL YOUTH… the writing and releasing has yet to relent; the Mountain Goats produce at a velocity like Kiss in their prime. This song would transmute forms and be resurrected as “High Hawk Season” on 2011’s ALL ETERNALS DECK. Recorded to 7” for inclusion in time capsule, Horace Mann Middle School, Burlington, IA, before the fire.

 9. Baron Karza Begets (Song for Dave) 17:04

Lyrically, this song appeared to be a list, with no order or organization, of whatever Micronauts (“The Interchangeable World of the Micronauts”) that Darnielle could recall at the time in a John Cage-ian test of listener endurance. The Mountain Goats core lineup is John Darnielle, Peter Hughes, and master skins-basher Jon Wurster on drums. Sometimes they have company. Sometimes not.  In 2013, Darnielle and Hughes will tour as a duo. Danzig took the SAMHAIN logo from an old CRYSTAR comic book cover by Michael Golden who used to draw MICRONAUTS too. Recorded on those long, like, scrolls of paper that robot pianos in the old west used to play PLAYER PIANOS that’s what they’re called OK recorded to Player Piano scroll and let’s sayyyyy… lost in a car fire, Alamogordo, NM.

 10. Hope Clouds Observation (2:22)

I was supposed to meet John Darnielle after the first time I got to see the Mountain Goats perform live; before the show I was nervous so I let the man and the band eat in peace. After the show I felt unwell — like, really unwell. I was shivering. Turns out I had swine flu. What if you went on your favorite band’s tour bus and gave them all swine flu. Swine flu killed my uncle a long time ago. It didn’t kill me. And I have yet to meet John Darnielle. I don’t have to: we already know each other. I was Jeff. My Cyrus was named Jay and he died in 2009. My star high school running back was named Peyton, and it was coke, not acid. This tape is my life. This tape is your life. Guess what? We survived it this long. All hail West Texas. Recorded with ink and needle into human skin, forever, and with gratitude, endless gratitude, Anytown, USA.

        —Matt Fraction

           Portland, OR

All Hail West Texas will be reissued by Merge on 23 July, 2013 - it’s available for presale now at that Merge link. John Darnielle will be grateful to Matt Fraction for writing this bio even unto the grave, yea, and far beyond. The town of West, Texas could really use whatever help you can give so if you have a little extra pass it along.  Thanks!

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macabredriveintheater:

Filmed in the Macabre Drive-In Theater’s backyard, so to speak.
Zaat’s da truth!

can I just point out THE BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z

macabredriveintheater:

Filmed in the Macabre Drive-In Theater’s backyard, so to speak.

Zaat’s da truth!

can I just point out THE BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z

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monsterman:

Curse of the Devil (1973)
aka Return of the Werewolf aka El retorno de Walpurgis

reblogging this both because of its inherent awesomeness and to serve notice that previous ow-my-synapses moments aside I fully intend to post an animated gif tomorrow afternoon

(via trudymade)