swampthot asked: hey john not to be that guy but im wondering when you guys are gonna cover all star by smash mouth. im not even joking this is a serious concern. you may think im pulling your leg. memeing you for shits and giggles. sir i am not. i just think when i finally hear it i can be at peace i think. please respond
We are never going to do this. I learned my lesson with “funny” covers in the 90s. Bands generally speaking have to be really careful about doing anything funny, because people then want you to make the same joke for the rest of your life. There are approximately 10,000,000,000,000,000 worse problems to have, so I am not complaining, but I am explaining why, while it would be funny to do this, I would regret it: the next night. And the night after. And forever. People would absolutely see to it that I regretted it but good. One of the discreet joys of growing older is learning to stop yourself from doing stuff you might later regret. Other people take this weird “I regret nothing!” attitude toward everything they’ve done but I have never really understood that whole stance, if a person regrets nothing then I wonder what their whole deal is honestly. Anyway. Covers that would be totally hilarious are generally, with very occasional exceptions, off the menu, because they become millstones almost immediately. Neolithic and Upper Paleolithic citizens used millstones for grinding nuts, rhizomes, grains, and probably a lot of other stuff we don’t even know about. Did they sometimes get curious, what if I ground my finger in this millstone, fuckin’ ouch, that was stupid? I bet they did, and that’s how I’d feel if I covered “All-Star.” I have, after a long apprenticeship, finally left the Neolithic Era behind and entered, with much ceremony, my own personal Bronze Age.
